After years of specializing in divorce buyout financing, we've heard every question imaginable. Some are predictable, some are insightful, and one made our entire office stop mid-conversation and stare at the phone.
Here are the most common questions we receive, plus the one that deserves its own comedy special.
Question #10: "Can you fund my loan if my credit score is in witness protection?"
We get it. Divorce doesn't just divide assets—it often obliterates credit scores. Between maxed-out credit cards for legal fees, missed payments during financial chaos, and joint accounts gone wrong, many business owners watch their credit scores plummet faster than a stone in water.
Our Answer:
We focus on business assets and cash flow, not your credit score during temporary life chaos. A 580 credit score with a $2 million business gets different treatment than a 580 credit score with no assets.
Question #9: "How fast is 'fast approval' really?"
Everyone claims "fast approval," but most lenders define "fast" like government agencies define "efficient."
Our Answer:
48 hours or less for most deals. We've approved loans during lunch breaks and funded million-dollar buyouts while other banks were still asking for your high school transcripts.
The Record: 4 hours and 23 minutes from initial call to approval. The client called Monday morning, we approved by 4:23 PM the same day, and funded within a week.
Question #8: "Do you actually answer your phone?"
This question makes us sad because it highlights how poorly many lenders treat clients during crisis situations.
Our Answer:
Yes, humans answer our phone during business hours. Real humans, not voicemail systems designed by people who've never experienced actual urgency.
Question #7: "What if my business partner thinks I'm crazy for getting divorced financing?"
Business partners often worry about external financing affecting partnership dynamics.
Our Answer:
We work with your partner's concerns and can structure financing to actually strengthen partnership stability. Many partners are relieved when divorce-related uncertainty gets resolved quickly rather than dragging on for months.
Question #6: "Can you explain bridge financing without using the word 'liquidity' seventeen times?"
Financial jargon drives everyone crazy, including us sometimes.
Our Answer:
Bridge financing is money that gets you from crisis to solution. Your house is on fire (divorce), you need immediate help (bridge loan), and once the fire is out, you can rebuild with regular materials (permanent financing).
Question #5: "How do I know you're not going to disappear like my last three contractors?"
Trust is earned, especially when people are already dealing with the stress of divorce proceedings.
Our Answer:
We've been specializing in California divorce buyouts for years. We're not going anywhere, and we actually return phone calls. Also, we're licensed, bonded, and Google reviews are public for a reason.
Question #4: "What if my spouse's attorney is, um, difficult to work with?"
Diplomatic language for "what if my spouse's attorney is a professional nightmare."
Our Answer:
We've worked with every type of attorney from pleasant collaborators to people who apparently learned negotiation tactics from medieval torture manuals. Professional courtesy goes a long way, but we don't let difficult personalities delay your financing.
Question #3: "Do you finance businesses that aren't exactly... conventional?"
This covers everything from adult entertainment to cannabis businesses to companies with complicated regulatory issues.
Our Answer:
We evaluate each situation individually. If your business is legal, generates cash flow, and has value, we can probably work with it. We've seen everything, so don't worry about shocking us.
Question #2: "Can you help if I've already made every possible mistake?"
This question usually comes from business owners who've discovered commingling issues, missed deadlines, or generally feel like they've ruined everything.
Our Answer:
Most "disasters" are fixable with the right approach. We specialize in crisis situations, which means we're experts at finding solutions when everything seems impossible.
Real Example: Client had commingled funds, missed a court deadline, and his business partner was threatening dissolution. We funded a buyout that solved three different crises simultaneously.
Question #1: "How much will this actually cost me?"
The most common question, usually asked with the tone of someone expecting bad news.
Our Answer:
Bridge financing costs more than permanent financing because we provide speed, flexibility, and specialized expertise. But it costs much less than losing your business, missing court deadlines, or forced asset sales.
Perspective:
We typically charge 12-16% annually. Sounds expensive until you realize that business dissolution, legal penalties, and forced sales can cost 50-100% of your business value.
The Question That Made Us Spit Out Our Coffee
And now, the question that made our entire office stop and stare:
"Can you finance my divorce buyout if I'm not actually getting divorced, but my business partner thinks I am because I told him my wife and I were splitting up when we're actually just redecorating and needed him to think there was drama so he'd agree to sell me his shares at a discount?"
Long pause
Longer pause
Sound of coffee hitting desk
Our Response:
"Sir, that's not divorce financing. That's fraud with extra steps."
Follow-up from caller: "But can you finance it?"
Our Final Response:
"We'll need to refer you to an attorney, and not the kind that helps with financing."
The Real Takeaway
Behind every question—even the ridiculous ones—is someone dealing with a genuinely stressful situation. Divorce is complicated, business ownership is complicated, and combining the two creates scenarios that would challenge Nobel Prize winners.
We've built our business around understanding that when people call us, they're usually facing some combination of:
- Legal deadlines they can't control
- Financial pressures they didn't anticipate
- Business risks they never expected
- Family stress that affects everything else
Our job isn't just providing money—it's providing solutions that actually work for real-world complications.
Whether your question is straightforward ("How much?") or completely bizarre ("Can you finance my fake divorce?"), we've probably heard something similar before.
The good news: most problems have solutions.
The bad news: some solutions require more coffee than others.